So, I’m finally here, at the University of Newcastle, and it seems as though The Daily Mail et al were right after all, the streets are in fact plagued with incoherant, sex mad, working class drunkards who lack morals.
Several days ago I witnessed something truly disgusting. Upon leaving Central Train Station I encountered a group of nuns sitting on the steps of St Mary’s Cathedral, and they were not behaving as nuns would be expected to. As I approached I heard several of the nuns hurling abuse at passing atheists. As I got closer I noticed that some of the nuns were even unconscious due to the amount of wine they had consumed (no doubt it had been stolen from the Cathedral), several were also flashing passers by, regardless of their religious beliefs. It didn’t just stop with the nuns however, a priest appeared from inside the holy building with a large bottle of whiskey in one hand and some sort of smoking pipe in the other. He approached one of the nuns, grabbed her around the waist and shoved his tongue down her throat. He didn’t stop at a snog either. He removed his garments and lifted up the nun’s own garment. Several of the other nuns began to join in, with a couple performing acts on each other. Whilst this was happening, another nun was vomiting violently, she then fell back and began to choke on her own vomit, the other nuns and the priest began to laugh uncontrollably as they carried on with their unspeakable acts of degradation. I immediately called the police, but they never turned up. The Fire Service was sent instead and the Firemen were powerless against the hedonistic hoard as they were all Polish dwarves, the only people willing to work for such pathetic wages.
Under the guise of holy people, nuns and priests have been getting away with these sorts of activities for many years. No wonder church attendances are dropping! Also, is there any wonder why so many people have lost faith in the different police forces up and down the country?! In Lancaster just last week, the police were called to calm down unrest at a party but when the policemen arrived they just began to strip and dance in a suggestive manner. This is not law enforcement, it’s Political Correctness gone mad! Instead of just barging in and sorting out issues with authority they either don’t want to offend minorities or they dance around the issue! When will Tony Blair and his gay, blind and fat friends realise this?! We need somebody who doesn’t beat around the Bush (get it!!!?) and isn’t afraid of offending people. A common sense champion is what this country needs, and we need him fast!!!